karkat, i am being as honest as i possibly can with you. i don’t think people talk like that. whatever website you found is lying to you and was probably made to make you look like a total, well, dumbass!
or whatever insult you want to choose for yourself.
but that’s not the point! the point is you are expecting that i am tricking you when it is pretty obvious i am not.
also, i don’t get how you are cooler than me because there are more trolls than humans. have you seen me? i’m pretty cool.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DON’T FEEL VERY COMFORTABLE TRUSTING “THE PRANKING MASTER” WHEN THERE’S NO ONE AROUND TO VOUCH FOR YOUR HONESTY. MAYBE IF ROSE OR… JADE WERE HERE AND THEY AGREED TOO, THEN SURE, FINE, I’D BE TOTALLY KEEN ON BELIEVING THAT MAYBE FOR ONCE YOU’RE NOT SPOUTING BULLSHIT LIES AT ME IN ORDER TO FURTHER HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF ALL MY PEERS.
BUT ALAS, IT LOOKS TO BE JUST ME AND YOU HERE, JOHN.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, THIS PRANK COULD BE MORE ELABORATE THAN I PREVIOUSLY ANTICIPATED…
AND TRY TO STAY WITH ME HERE, JOHN
YOU KNEW THAT I WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU SAID THAT YOUR HUMANKIND DIDN’T SPEAK THAT WAY? WHAT IF YOU DELIBERATELY SAID ‘NO, OH WISE AND FANTASTIC KARKAT, WE DON’T SPEAK LIKE THAT,’ KNOWING FULL-WELL THAT I WOULD PICK UP ON IT BEING A PRANK! AND IN REALITY, YOU HUMANS DON’T TALK LIKE THAT, AND YOU WERE TELLING THE TRUTH KNOWING THAT I WOULD THINK IT WAS A LIE, AND THEREFORE TRYING TO VERY ELABORATELY TRICK ME INTO BELIEVING YOU HUMANS TALK THAT WAY! AND WORSE, WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU WERE LYING, YOU COULD TOTALLY PLAY IF OFF LIKE ‘WELL KARKAT I TOTALLY TOLD YOU THAT’S NOW HOW WE TALK, MAN.’ AND LEAVE ME AS THE FULL-BLOWN IDIOT FOR ALL TO POINT AND LAUGH AT!
WELL, NOT TODAY JOHN!
I’M NOT GONNA FALL FOR ANY PRANKS, NOT EVEN THE PRANK WITHIN A PRANK PRANKS!
I’M GOING TO SUSPEND YOUR STUPID MORONIC SOUNDING BUT APPARENTLY COOL (BUT ACTUALLY NOT COOL APPARENTLY?) MANNER OF SPEAKING AND CONTINUE TO SPEAK THE WAY I NORMALLY DO.
SO TAKE THAT!
AND ALSO, SINCE THERE ARE MORE TROLLS THAN HUMANS AND WE OUTNUMBER YOU, I’M PRETTY SURE THAT MAKES US THE DOMINANT SPECIES. THEREFORE OUR WAY OF LIFE, MANNER OF SPEAKING, SCALE OF COOLNESS, ET CETERA, TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER YOUR WAY OF LIFE, MANNER OF SPEAKING, SCALE OF COOLNESS, ET CETERA.
SO YOU MAYBE BE PRETTY COOL BUT HUMAN STANDARDS—WHICH I DOUBT—BUT YOU ARE NOT COOL BY TROLL STANDARDS, AND THAT’S ALL THAT REALLY COUNTS.
I HOPE YOU WERE TAKING NOTES HERE JOHN.